January 28, 2013

• All humans are spirit in physical form, seeking and progressing

• Avoiding relationships stunts personal growth

• Addressing disagreements in relationships

• God loves everyone completely and unconditionally

God joins your hands together. You are a circle, a circle with no beginning, a circle with no end, but a circle that is complete and all-inclusive. Your circle is not just those who are gathered in your visible group. Your circle is a circle of spirit. It is a circle of being present. It is a circle of seekers of love—seekers of love not in the conventional way, but seekers of love for what it means to be an act of God.

God speaks to each of you, and each of you responds as you can respond. One of the prime objectives of being in a circle of presence is being open to who you are. This means who all of your family, all of your acquaintances, all of your colleagues, friends—who are they? What are they? How are they?

Who are they? They’re all a piece of God. They’re all spirit residing in a physical form.

What are they? Seekers, merely seekers. Everyone seeks. Everyone searches and looks. But everyone tries to gaze beyond what is immediately apparent. They may be dreams of the future, hopes for the futures, hopes for the present.

How are they? They’re all, all functioning, flourishing in the way that is appropriate for them. How are they? They’re all fine. Each one of you is fine, for each of you is growing. Each of you is functioning as is appropriate for you. Even the individual who creates great suffering is fine. That individual is seeking. That individual is growing. That individual is evolving. That individual is learning. The impact can of course be severe and uncomfortable, creating pain and agony, but it is nevertheless an expression of the process that that person is enduring and accompanying.

So all of you are who you are because it is appropriate. All of you are what you are because it is appropriate. All of you are progressing. You are doing as is appropriate for you.

A child’s behavior is by definition childish. It may create great worry or great pain, great heartache, but the child is a child, and the child is functioning as a child and is functioning as one would expect of a child in that situation. The behavior may not be appropriate for an adult any more than a criminal’s behavior is appropriate for a law- abiding society. But the criminal’s behavior is part of the criminal’s pathway. It is God that provides the means by which each of you proceed on your paths.

Each of you may perceive yourself as looking only for good, looking only for ways of being loving. But each of you in your own ways and in your own time have created stress and sadness and hurt. But in so doing you are no less valuable. The child’s childlike behavior is no less valuable than an adult. All people express themselves based on where they are. All express themselves by who they are, what they are, and how they’re doing. If you are experiencing great frustration and anger, expression of that experience is necessarily different from one who experiences great joy or affirmation or love. The reaction of individuals must always be seen in some context, and it is for you, each of you, to understand the context, the actions or inactions of others.

You have heard many times of the importance of placing yourself in another’s shoes, but to fully understand the other, you must be the other, and that of course is not possible. You feel you understand. You try to understand. You try to have a vision, but that vision is never perfectly clear. Just as your lives are very complex and filled with the baggage and gifts of others, so are the lives of every human being, more complex than you as an observer can fully grasp. It is for these reasons that you are always asked to be nonjudgmental, but where does one draw the line between being nonjudgmental and having to respond as one feels is appropriate? That line of demarcation, the line in the sand, the defining principle, is that in all cases you, each of you, must be honest with who you are, what you are, and how you are.

The question was raised about appropriate action when faced with other perspectives that seem far off the mark. The appropriate reaction is one of being respectful, acknowledging the worthiness of another, and then responding based on who you are, what you are, how you are. If you are honest with your perception of those three criteria, you cannot fault yourself. You cannot be consumed by the reaction of another if your actions are offered lovingly and inclusively, nonjudgmentally. This is true whether you are interacting with family or friends, colleagues, acquaintances—with anyone. You must be honest with yourselves first and then act in love and compassion.

You can be loving and compassionate toward another and yet be in strong disagreement. That is the sign of a strong and honest relationship. Such relationships are not defined by lack of disagreement but by honesty, expressing oneself with love and hopefully hearing what another may say as being offered with love and not judgment.

When you feel compelled to express opposition to points of view that are held by others, you must have faith in your own grounding. If the grounding is offered lovingly with absence of bitterness, then you are responding in the way that is most appropriate.

Much of your discussion together centered around relationships—relationships between ideas, relationships with concepts, relationships with personalities. The challenge of relationships is central to human experience. It is, in a way, why you live. A life filled with the complexity of relationships is indeed a perceptive life. It is indeed a fulfilling life, but it is never easy. There are many people who shun the establishment of relationships, for relationships are fraught with suspicion, animosity, jealousy. Although for such people life seems under control, in fact those individuals are preventing their own development. They’re stunting their own growth. They’re building walls that separate them from the experiences that give true meaning to life.

Therefore it is important to accept those challenges. Even more importantly, to respond to them rather than ignore them. The response that is appropriate is the response that is not protective of self but inclusive of another. Being inclusive is not agreeing but accepting. If you accept another, then your response will be appropriate.

The errors in human judgment often come as a result of nonacceptance, an inability to recognize value either in another or in the beliefs that another may hold. It is God’s wish that all human beings accept all others—not the behavior of others, but accept the others as human beings, as fellow travelers on the globe you call Earth. That is what acceptance truly means. And if you accept another, you therefore love another. A parent loves the child, accepts the child as a child, but does not reject the value of the child regardless of what the child does.

You are loved by God. You are loved by the central Spirit of All That Is for the very reason that you are not judged for what you do or who you are or how you are. You are simply loved. You are simply accepted. It is not something you earn. You are entitled to being accepted and loved by God. It is not a mantle that you wear after achieving given objectives. You are simply accepted. You are who you are. You are what you are. You are how you are. If you are angry, you are accepted and loved. If you are jealous, you are accepted and loved. If you are criticized by others, you are accepted and loved by God. There is no rejection of any human being on the basis of who they are, what they are, or how they are. There is nothing you can do that will break that bond, and if you believe in the validity of that bond, how can you break that trust as you interact with others?

If you disagree with another, pray that you will find resolution. You may pray that others will change their minds or will behave otherwise, but that is not for you to dictate, for you cannot dictate that your perspective is better than another. You can pray for resolution through understanding. It is in understanding that one finds acceptance, and it is in acceptance that one expresses love. When there is disagreement, there is no benefit to withholding that disagreement, for that only increases the sense of loss, the sense of not being heard. It is only by expressing with acceptance and love that you will be heard. It is only when another expresses disagreement toward you with acceptance of you that you can really hear what another is saying.

When you act out of anger, you may not feel accepting, but the recipient of that anger can choose to accept your expression, not to agree with it but to accept it as an expression of someone who carries an opinion, a belief, close to the heart. When you are in conflict with another, you cannot control how another will accept your viewpoint, but you can still offer that viewpoint in an accepting and loving framework.

All of this is about relationships, and the center to that issue must be a loving acceptance. Nonjudgmental relationships are essentially relationships of acceptance, not necessarily agreement, but acceptance nevertheless. The human experience is constantly filled with the challenges surrounding relationships, and it is God that provides the means, the strength, the perspective to work in that environment in a constructive and affirming manner. Each of you wants respect. Each of you wishes to be regarded as being thoughtful and sensitive. But each of you must in your response be thoughtful and sensitive and respectful. That is all you have control of. The reactions of others are not your reactions, but you can help the situation in resolving differences in perspectives when all that you offer is presented through loving acceptance. It is a difficult lesson to fully take in and make your own, but it is precisely this which should guide your interactions with everyone. You then are doing all you can, being connected to this circle of humanity where you are all your brothers and sisters, where you are all family.

We as your guides accept you as you are. We love you as you are. We say you are where you should be, and you acknowledge that. But in the same feeling, you should also acknowledge that truth in your relationships with all. You seek peace, and often you define that peace as a response of someone else, of another community, another society, another country. But the peace you seek really does begin with who you are and what you are and how you are.

Be peaceful, and you will attract peace. Be confrontational, and you will attract confrontation. Be loving, and you will attract loving behavior. Be faithful, and you will encourage faithfulness in others. Be affirming, and others feeling affirmed will in turn affirm. Be all that it is you seek, and what you seek you will find.

You are loved by us. You’re affirmed by us. You’re accepted by us unconditionally. Use us as a standard to guide you in all of your relationships, and the love and peace of God will be yours. Rest in God’s love. Rest in God’s peace.

Amen.