November 18, 2003

• Vulnerability and separateness

God speaks and each individual listens as he or she can. God speaks in the beauty of nature. God speaks in the beauty of another individual—relationships, opportunities for cooperation. God speaks through the sunlight, through the nurturing rains, through the majestic mountains, through the expanse of the plains and the wonder of the sea. God is always speaking. There is no moment when God’s presence, love, and the miracle of life are not somehow to be acknowledged.

You go through your lives often with your ears closed to the expressions of God. You are given life, you are given the opportunity of interacting with others. That interaction can be reinforcing, it can be challenging, it can be strength-giving or threatening. Your interactions with others around you all have a potential, and that is the potential for growth. There is no interaction with another human being that is in its nature defeating, for growth can come from every opportunity that you experience in your lives. Those opportunities may be painful, but they still can lead to growth. They can be exhilarating, and still lead to growth. They can seem at times meaningless, but in their apparent meaninglessness can lead to growth.

There is no interaction between people that results in total loss, for loss is only a reality for those who see themselves as being separate—separated from God, separated from what is good. The truth, as you know, is that there is no such thing as separation. You may be separated physically from those you love, but you have your memory, you have your appreciation for those toward whom you direct your love. Because there is no such condition as real separation, you must acknowledge that every condition has within it the potential for growth, the potential for all that is good.

You ask for more clarification on the issue of vulnerability. We can say to you that vulnerability incorporates a feeling of separateness. You are separated in your relationships, you are separated in perspectives, you are separated in ideas, traditions, objectives. It is then that you feel vulnerable. It may be pain that creates a feeling of separation, namely from those who do not experience that particular pain. But vulnerability and the separateness that is felt are only matters of degree, of relative position. You can feel separate from someone with whom you have had an argument, and yet feel close to that individual on an entirely different level. You can feel separateness, vulnerability, because of tasks that you feel unable to complete. You can feel separateness when you are misunderstood. You can feel separateness when you feel committed to the rightness of your position that may not be shared by others. All of these conditions belong to being vulnerable, for each one contains the potential for you to become affirmed—affirmed in health, affirmed in perspective or opinion. The potential for that growth, that affirmation, is there. Being vulnerable, therefore, is the state of being open to affirmation that may be offered.

There are, of course, many instances in which you as individuals wish to be affirmed, and yet that affirmation is not forthcoming. Does it mean then that your vulnerability is wasted, that it has no potential for your growth? Absolutely not. When you need fulfillment in some corner of your life and that fulfillment is not observed, it is easy to feel that doubt, allowing frustration, anger, even self-pity to emerge. But your vulnerability at that moment provides you with a potential that is within you, independent of what others may do. When you do not get the fulfillment you seek, you are required to explore elsewhere in your life to find the answers, the affirmation that you may seek.

Your life, in the end, is not just about receiving perceived needs, but about learning of yourself in the process of being needy. If you are ill and there is no medication readily available to treat your illness, your response to that realization can nevertheless be very positive, positive in terms of its benefit to you and others, even if it does not meet with your initial hopes and dreams. The conversation with an individual that turns tense and is filled with confrontation forces you to draw upon inner spiritual resources.

You are not given life so that all your needs are equally responded to as you would wish. That is not the nature of life. You are given life for the insight and learning that takes place when you face the many challenges. You grow in compassion through your ability to endure hardship. You cannot understand what it means to be in seeming endless pain, so that you may help another, unless you have really experienced similar agony. Through such experience you grow and become strengthened, and it is the result of that strengthening that allows you to reach out toward another who feels somehow deprived of that which is sought.

Acting with love means that you have experienced being loved. It is not merely an intellectual experience. It is a life-transforming experience. Receiving the compassionate care of someone else always changes your view of life, for you realize only then that your life is as it is, not of your own doing, but through the efforts of others. This is part of the interdependence that we spoke of most recently. Being vulnerable, therefore, is being open to the opportunity for your growth. That opportunity arrives at your doorstep either with great ease or great difficulty. It is still, nevertheless, an opportunity.

Vulnerability does not mean weakness, nor is it described as a kind of naiveté. It is a state of being open to what is said, what is expressed, what is done. Being open means being open to what is not good as well as what is good. You learn from both experiences. Indeed, many feel you learn more by experiencing what is not good than by experiencing the ease of what is good. Being vulnerable, therefore, implies a faith— a faith that in every instant, in every occurrence in your lives, you will be made stronger, deeper. Life will become more relevant, not less so.

Your lives are given character through their vulnerability. You can feel angry, but anger carries with it the potential for insight and compassion—Insight into the meaning of the event, insight into your own relationships to that event—they are nevertheless insights. It is easy to wait for insight to take place, that sort of “light bulb” moment. But the greatest insight comes from effort. When you experience something in life, ask yourselves, “What is the true significance of what I am experiencing?” And in every case, the significance lies beyond the experience itself. When people don’t listen to God, they miss an understanding of the broader significance. They are only concerned about the current moment. Your lives are given character through your insight. They are given meaning through your sharing with others, through your listening to what others wish to share with you. You then find yourselves never truly separated.

You all know the statement of never being separated from God. That is a true statement, but it also means that since all individuals are in part God, you are never separated from your fellow beings. You are a part of their lives just as much as they are a part of yours. Each of you shares in the importance of being present in the space of another. Vulnerability, therefore, is a state of mind. It is not a condition of fact. You are never separated. You are always connected—connected to associates, family, neighbors, the community, your nation—you are connected to the entire world.

When you express your concern about what is happening a world away from your own life experiences, you are connected. You may not have the answers that you seek, but you are aware of the broader relationship that binds you to events and individuals elsewhere. Your lives are intertwined because of this absolute connection.

We suggest that you consider vulnerability as that feeling of being somehow separate, but acknowledge that in your perceived separateness, you are in truth never apart from your world. You are never apart from our world. You are always connected. Acknowledging that connection brings meaning to your lives at every level. The bridge of which we spoke is already up, but it is only completed when you allow yourselves to be vulnerable in terms of needs to be loved. There is no break in that bridge, but when your vulnerability is incased in a fear of separateness, the gap in the bridge prevents the coming and going, the interrelationships that are so essential in human life.

Allow yourselves to be vulnerable as it describes your needs to be loved. But deny the temptation to believe that you are in any way separate. All are really One. There is no separation. You are one with all individuals, with all nature—animate and inanimate—and you are blessed in that absolute unity. Let it guide you as you travel the pathways of your lives. Allow that connection to provide meaning to every event in your lives.

You are connected to God.

We are connected to God.

You and we are connected permanently to one another.

You are never alone. You are always nourished by the loving light of the ever- present God.

Amen.