September 9, 2004

• Suffering and a proper response to it

• Be free of fear

God is with you, each of you.

You are guided,

you are nurtured,

you are given grace,

you are given strength,

you are given vulnerability,

and you are given vision—vision to see what life contains, what life has to

offer you and all others.

We, your guides, are continually with each of you, and we felt closely connected to your discussions in this gathering at this point in your lives.

You wonder about suffering. We can tell you that all human beings wonder about the nature of that experience. For some, the question is, “Why me,” or “Why someone else whom I know and love?” For others, the question is, “How do I respond? What is the meaning of the suffering?” For yet others, the question can be, “Is there any meaning to suffering?” And there are of course those who ask the ultimate question, “Where is God?”

You know already that God is in your response to suffering—your own or the suffering of others. You also know that God does not create the conditions that bring about that suffering. Certainly God is a part of all that happens, but the suffering that belongs to human life, belongs to human life. It is part of why you are given human life, for life is not intended to be without challenge, without conflict, without suffering, without pain, without jealousy, without anger. If life were to continue to be only the unbridled expression of love, there would be no point in experiencing it, for you would grow through that unbridled love that is ours to experience on this side of the great threshold.

Difficult as it is, each of you must learn that what is gained out of suffering is gained through the response to that suffering. Your potential to grow in that experience is a gift to the spirit and of the spirit. Your response to your perceptions of suffering gives strength to the soul, and it is the soul that provides context for the suffering itself. Suffering, of whatever nature, therefore proceeds in two directions: one emanating from your own sense of what seems to be right, what strengthens the spirit; the other emanating from the spirit that helps you, that guides you, directs you to an appropriate response. You as individuals and your spiritual centers are clasped together in a combined effort, in a mutual pact of support, respect, love. It is indeed correct to make that analogy between yourselves as human beings and your spiritual selves, for those qualities in a relationship are the same qualities that should be exercised toward other human beings.

Countless times you have been told that life is to be lived, that life is to be experienced. It may appear to you that that experience is not shared or endured equally among all people. But you must remember that each soul has a sequence of lessons to be learned, and that each soul will successfully learn those lessons and reach the goal of unity with the God Center that you all are drawn toward. There are many roads leading to that center. Each path is different, yet each path is appropriate for the human life. There is no benefit in questioning or trying to solve the apparent riddle of why some people suffer more or less than others. Nevertheless, each path is indeed different. It is for you to gain a clear view of your own path with no comparisons being made to the path of another. Compassion of course is important, and when you perceive others to be suffering more than you seem to be suffering, there is a natural environment that can lead to compassionate action.

That perception of inequity in paths, when acted upon with compassionate love, is a way of accepting that other path and most especially your responsibility to that. All individuals have their own path to travel, but all individuals are also given the opportunity to be aware of and to respond to neighboring paths, for your spiritual journey in human form is not a straight line. Its direction is forward because of what you do laterally, what you do beside you and behind you and in front of you. Your journeys are dynamic journeys. They require your response in many directions. You do not feel smug or self-important when you reach out in true compassion, for in such outreach you are recognizing yourself in another, and that is the common bond that unites each of you.

You wonder about relationships to those who suffer. You acknowledge the change in that relationship. It can become more compassionate, more personal, less personal, more a sense of duty. You can be overcome by the uncertainty of what your responses should be. We should start by emphasizing the importance of a spiritual commitment to that person or those people whom you are committed to serve. A relationship that is compassionate is one that serves to uphold, to uplift another. There is no self-gain intended in compassion.

How do you support someone most appropriately who is in need? That is the ultimate question here. Determining whether to continue the life of someone else through artificial support or to discontinue those heroics is resolved by an understanding of how best to bring support—spiritual support, loving, compassionate support. It is in no way an objective decision. Every relationship is unique, and therefore every decision should also be unique based on the relationship. If decisions to continue life or not to continue life are based in part on how the decision maker may benefit, then such a decision is not valid. The only decision that can be made is what, in your judgment, is in the best interests of another. If you feel that someone is being given an opportunity for growth, that there is a spiritual potential, then you are correct in doing all to continue that life. But if you feel that, in your judgment, more is to be gained by another than is lost through the termination of life, then that decision can be properly made.

Relationships between those who suffer and those who observe from a distance are complex and many layered. For some, the decisions of how to respond to the suffering of another are very self-directed. This is understandable when, for example, the caregiver feels as if the suffering experienced seems to be unbearable. Often the caregiver finally gives up and says, in effect, “I cannot deal with this any longer.” As a result, decisions are made that may be in the best interests of the caregiver and not of the one who is afflicted. Those kinds of decisions are frequent, if also misguided.

Part of your responsibility to your fellow human beings is to be aware of what it means to be a caregiver, and to watch and relate to the caregiver as you would to the primary individual who’s experiencing the pain, the suffering. For you to respond compassionately and with understanding and wisdom means that you must respond to the broader dynamic of that relationship. No one who loves another deeply finds it easy to respond in a manner that seems appropriate. When one you love suffers, you suffer. You are a part of the web of pain. It may not be as intense, it may not be as lonely, but you are nevertheless a part of the total picture. And therefore your relationships to those who are experiencing suffering of whatever kind will be colored somewhat by the intensity of that relationship.

Legislating that certain acts must be prohibited in all cases of suffering does not respond to the dynamics of the relationship. It must be handled on a case by case basis when you are aware of those in great pain and great suffering. It is no good to think legalistically. You must learn to think spiritually. You must try to find means by which another may grow and strengthen, deepen, enrich, for that is the human challenge here. The experience is what feeds the soul.

You are told to respect all of creation. Those are not empty words. They are not offered as nice comments. They are indeed very difficult words. When you approach life spiritually, you must attempt in your own way to place yourselves in the shoes of another for whom you are concerned and for whom you pray. In doing that, you are better equipped to determine what you feel may be best for another.

The problem with suffering is compounded by fear—not only fear experienced by the one who suffers, but fear experienced by those who pray for and work with those who suffer. Why is there fear? The fear comes from a suspicion of loss, an expectation of loss. Life centered on fear is not a life that is free to grow. Difficult as it sounds, you must relinquish fear in your lives. You must relinquish fear of pain. You must relinquish fear of loneliness. You must relinquish fear of loss, however it may be defined. For your lives to flourish, the fear must be put behind you. It is not the natural state of the soul to fear, and therefore it should be your objectives to eliminate fear, to eliminate the causes of fear.

The relationship between two people can be shaped by fear. That relationship is not healthy for it is restricted, it is kept from growing, it is fenced in. You are given your lives to expand like the wings of a butterfly. You are meant to fly in your spirit. You are meant to soar, to be rejoicing, to be thankful, to be loving, to be compassionate, uplifting. All of that is possible in the absence of fear. For what is it that you fear? What is it that is so important that fear is your response? You are urged to find activities and directions in your lives that lift you from the darkness of fear to the light of joy, to the light of hope, to the light that comes from allowing yourselves to be loved.

Such a life without fear is possible in the human condition. You can experience pain and not be fearful. You can experience the potential of the unknown and yet not meet that unknown in fear. When you reach out to others, shake off the fear—either the fear directed toward your own concerns, or the fear directed toward what might happen to someone else. Compassionate loving has no room for fear. Nonjudgmental love has no room for fear. Acknowledging the spiritual connection you have with another denies any cause for fear. When you are confident of that God that is within you, that spiritual center, that loving energy, there is no place for fear.

Fear is emptiness; faith is fulfillment. Live your lives with fulfillment. Acknowledge that your relationships to others are relationships of fulfillment. Whatever happens to another, seek ways of fulfillment and your actions will always be appropriate. They will always reflect God, for what is God in life if not fulfillment on the grandest scale?

Allow yourselves to think of what it means to be fulfilling and not merely what it takes to be fulfilled. Allow yourselves to be loving, for that provides fulfillment in another. Approach suffering as an opportunity for fulfillment and not an excuse for the shadow of darkness. All that human life has to present can lead to fulfillment.

The tragedy of the many deaths that you are aware of carries with it the sense of fulfillment that one is strengthened by God’s loving presence, that one is given hope in times of crisis, that one is given love by others in times of loss and pain. That is the fulfillment that comes from a loving response, a compassionate response, an unselfish response. Pray for the fulfillment of all who suffer, for all who are grief-stricken. Pray that you may be shown a path that can contribute to the fulfillment of others. Pray that you may be shown a vision of fulfillment in the painful experiences that others may endure. And pray for fulfillment in your own pain, in your own anxieties, seeking a Light that removes fear, that replaces fear with confidence, and with a conviction of inner strength and the undeniable presence of God.

You are blessed in your capacity to be fulfilled and your ability to fulfill others.

Amen.