When there is grief, it is recognized by all spirits that such grief as is expressed is merely a form of love, a form of loving. Grief in its most sincere form is always offered through love and not through selfishness. Because love is at the center of grief, that love illuminates the path of the soul toward whom the grief is directed. The feeling of loss by one whose relationship to another is love is a natural feeling, for without love there is no regret, but when there is love, there is the accompaniment of loss, and grieving is about loss. It is the expression of loss that becomes the manifestation of love.
Therefore, when a departed soul is surrounded by grief, it can be strength-giving when the grief is dominated by loving. But when the grief is continuous and is directed more towards oneself, then such grieving can become a burden when the individual who experiences the loss keeps expressing the wish that another had not died and was still present.
There is a difference between grieving for loss and grieving for self. Grieving for loss is an expression of love. Grieving for self is an expression of ownership of another. In loving grieving, true loving grieving is an acknowledgment of loss but an acceptance of a sense of giving. You give to God. You miss what has been lost, but you give back. You return the spirit to home. It is not a denial of loss, but it is a loss accompanied by a gift of love. That is a grieving that helps the spirit on its journey, but such grieving as a gift is not achieved quickly. It may take years, but years are nothing, for there is no time.
The initial grieving from a sudden loss that is not accompanied by a sense of giving back is definitely not a burden to the soul who has crossed over, for the soul recognizes the love that is being directed toward it. The process of grieving is a long process, in human terms, but at some point all who mourn a loss begin to acknowledge a gratitude for the presence of another, a gratitude for sharing a life, and in that gratitude a growing willingness to give back, to release, to let go.
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